Three kids in the back seat, the car moving through traffic, a man and wife both simultaneously “hangry” and no one sure of where to eat dinner. “What about Mexican?” asks the wife. “I feel like we eat that all the time,” says the husband. “Then what do you want?” wife asks. “I don’t know, I just don’t want Mexican,” the soon-to-be-dead husband states…sound familiar?
Welcome to this site....Where?...Never Heard of It. This journey started with a Google search of restaurants in the Greenville-area as a way to combat the “mundanity” (mundane-insanity…a word I created while typing this…you’re all welcome). My hope was that with a few simple keystrokes Google would drop all I wanted into the view of my eyeballs, like a jolly restaurant-naming-stork. Surprise, surprise, I was a bit wrong. However, in times like this when obsession and boredom meeting actually bear something semi-cool (if you ask me…which, if you’re reading this, you essentially did) I took the following days (hours and hours on end) to compile as comprehensive a list as I could. It began with the names of the restaurants, growing to the addresses of the locations and the “genre” (type of food they serve/restaurant they are). The search grew as I researched the hours of operation, online menus, etc. etc. Taking the information I gathered I began to drive the areas represented and noting any restaurant that flew under the radar of the interweb (where I found that fancy Google-machine) and, thus, added those to the list. All-in-all, I believe I have a comprehensive as currently possible list (as of the very second I am typing this, quite clearly needing to add new-opens as soon as they occur…every 12 seconds that they do) to help us all better choose a new stop in the greater GVegas area. (As a sidebar, please feel free to e-mail any additions to the list you see missing to email@example.com).
Now, before you think to yourself, “self, this dude is an idiot who quite clearly hasn’t gone ANYWHERE if he doesn’t know about THIS restaurant”…to which I would like to remind you to SLOW YOUR ROLL...there are some prerequisites to making the list…and such pre-reqs ARE….
- 1.RADIUS! I am a proud inhabitant of the beautiful area of Greenville County known as Taylors. With that being said (or typed, in this case) even people who are as OCD and RIDICULOUS as I am (a ridiculousness my wife reminds me that this very list represents) there is only so far I need to go to try a new restaurant (after all, this list became a way to try new restaurants IN HOPES we would find some new “go-to” joints that we would visit with more frequency). Only restaurants in the greater-Greenville area that are AT MAX within 30 minutes of travel time qualify. These areas for me are Berea, Downtown Greenville, Greenville, Greer, Taylors, and Travelers Rest.
- 2.WHAT DEFINES A RESTAURANT, YOU MAY ASK (and apparently may YELL, as the ALL CAPS might indicate)? While I cannot express my love for coffee (something of which my employees at work remind me quite often as I consume my 4th and 5th cups of certain days) in words I must deny such establishments entrance onto this list if they do not have a “restaurant” attached or at least some type of food menu (a lot of bars fall into this category, as well). In other words if there is no food, there is no entrance. Sorry, my love known as coffee (and occasionally alcohol), even I have to drawn the line somewhere!
- 3.HOW EVER WILL I REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT ALL OF THESE FINE (or not so fine) ESTABLISHMENTS?!?! Yes, I generally take copious amounts of notes on anything because, as I am sure you can surmise from reading all of this and viewing this here site, I AM as big of a nerd as it would seem. HOWEVER I always view the menu via the interweb to each fine establishment PRIOR to visiting them (of course, if the menus are not available on the www, I wait to make my decision until I arrive). I view the menu online with a clear mind and a full stomach (so as to not make any rash, hangry decisions). If nothing speaks to my taste buds, nay, SCREAMS to them, I intentionally ask the fine employee of the place I visit for what his/her favorite item on the menu is as I am being served and I order such (this helps me ensure I am having what they believe to be the best item as a broad representative of their menu offerings as a whole). I then take note of the food, service, atmosphere, and anything else I find to be pertinent information and share it with you fine folks present (if it also seems some rather obvious entries are missing that is probably due to the fact that I do not review chains, defining "chain" by having 5+ locations...if you don't know what Taco Bell is like without me telling you, you haven't lived enough to even access the internet...so this may not be for you). Unfortunately I am not quite as clairvoyant as it may initially seem (nor as much so as I represent I am to others…whoops) so for some of these places I have pictures of the delicious food (some I took after I started notating this list and some before simply because I’m a fatty who loves to stare at pics of said delicious food…okay, really just to gloat to others about how amazing something I consumed truly was…yeah, I’m that guy). Others of which I, unfortunately, have no visual evidence of my visit (some of which I wish I could forget ever having visited, so to a certain degree it all works-out).
Now that we have covered all that ground I hope you enjoy what once was a hobby, turned an obsession, and now blind money-wasting stupidity (words of wifely wisdom...love you, honey) and tell all your friends of Where?...Never Heard of It...because now you have.